Momento For The Afterlife

Yesterday, my daughter, Gracie asked me to choose between two of her soft toys, a teddy bear and the alien creature from the Stephen Chow's movie, CJ7. I chose the teddy bear. Gracie then said, "Bring it along with you when you go to heaven. When you miss me, just look at this."

Lately, Gracie, 2 months shy of her fifth birthday, was concerned about me dying. She then hugged me and told me that she is afraid that I will grow old.

I remember when I was young, I cried secretly at the thought that my mother will one day die. But I was definitely not as young as Gracie then. I was perhaps ten or so. I wish Gracie will have more care free days before having to think about the more morbid stuff of life. My father and grandmother died when Gracie was three. Earlier in the day, at the playground, I overheard her telling a playmate about her family members and that her grandfather had passed away. I am not sure what led to these thoughts about death. I suspect it is some of the TV drama that she watched. Mental note - need to cut down on TV time.

Re-learning Mandarin

Oh-uh! I am in trouble. I know this day is coming but I didn't expect it to come so soon - coming to grip with my Chinese language again.

Gracie asked me how to write the numerals in Mandarin. Normally, Raine would handle Mandarin while I handle the English language for our 5-years old. But hey, I can handle 1 to 10. Yeah, right! I got stuck at 9. I had a hint of the problem at 7. I can vaguely remember the numbers but I wasn't so sure and 9 took the opportunity to floor me. I had to admit to Gracie that I had forgotten. It came back to me after a few minutes but it hit me that I had forgotten so much of what I had learnt in school. Just at a time when Mr Lee Kwan Yew was encouraging Singaporeans to use more Mandarin at home with their children and leave English to be taught by teachers at school.

Sheesh! Need to hit the book on Mandarin again. Just to keep up and be able to tutor Gracie. I gave on Mandarin years ago. I absolutely hated the subject. Mainly because of one lousy teacher - Mr Tan, my Mandarin lesson teacher in Primary 3 and Primary 5. I was tortured for 2 whole years and traumatised for the past thirty odd years. I look forward to Mandarin lesson as eagerly as one would look forward to having one's finger nails yanked out, and then dipped in sea water. I was humiliated every week when the result of the weekly spelling test was announced. I was made to stand in front of the class and given a dressing down before being smacked on my palm with a ruler.

The worst was dealt by my classmate. Once, my teacher organised a class debate in Primary 5 and divided the class into 2 opposing teams. The topic was whether a woman can be the President of Singapore. I was one of the top students in my class then (but obviously not in Chinese language). So, over my feeble protests (I was already paralysed whenever I attended Mandarin lessons), my classmate chose me to be one of the debaters. I was sick in the stomach for a few days. When the day of the debate came, my team mates thrusted at me, a few newspaper clippings and told me to read them. The next 5 minutes seem like hours as I stuttered and muttered. I broke out in cold sweats when I realised I could not even read most of the words. After a while, I gave up trying and fell silent. The whole class was quiet for a few moments, adding to my severe discomfort. It was worst than being hit by my teacher - the realisation that I was indeed that bad in my command of the Chinese language.

Fortunately, I had great teachers in Primary 6 and Secondary 4. The crucial years for examination (Primary School Leaving Examination and O Level respectively). Mdm Chen and Mrs Lim were perhaps, the most influential people in my life. They did not gave up on me. They gave me good reasons to study harder. Amazingly, I scored A for PLSE Chinese language and B3 for O level.

Of course, after leaving school, I left behind my Mandarin. In daily life, I use either English or Hainanese. I only spoke Mandarin to a few close friends. Well, until I met Raine. That is a story that I have already written about earlier.

Moving forward, I need to regain my proficiency in Mandarin. Sign!~ Thankfully, Mdm Chen and Mrs Lim had already proven to me that I can do it. Now it is for me to demonstrate to Gracie.

The Game Of 5 Stones

I bought a pack of "5 stones" for Gracie recently, from the museum. 5 stones is a game played with little bean bags. It was popular with girls when I was young. It certainly bring back memories as I also like playing 5 stones.

It is a good game for practising eye-hand coordination. It is played with 5 bean bags that can all fit into the palm of a child.

Here are the rules for the game of 5 stones.

Decide who get to start first. The player's turn ends when a mistake is made. To be continued from the point where the mistake was made when the other player makes a mistake.

A player would go through a cycle of tossing and catching the bags or "stones". Completing a cycle would earn a point. The player with the most points wins.

Here is how you play the game of 5 stones:
Step 1: Throw the 5 stones on the ground. Using only one hand, pick and throw one in the air, while picking up another. Then catch the first stone before it lands on the floor. Throw one of the stones in your hand and then pick up another from the floor. Catch the airborne stone before it hits the ground. repeat until all the stones are in your hand.

Step 2: This is the same as step 1 but you pick up 2 stones at a time after throwing one in the air.

Step 3: Same as step 1 and 2 but this time, you catch 3 stones after throwing the first stone in the air. For the remaining stone, do as per step 1.

Step 4: Throw 1 stone in the air and scoop up all the remaining 4 stones before catching the first stone.

Step 5: With all the stones in your palm, throw 1 in the air. Then place the remaining 4 on the floor before catching the first stone. Then repeat step 4.

Step 6: Throw all the stones onto the floor. Pick 2 and throw 1 in the air, exchange the stone in your hand with another from the ground. Then catch the falling stone. Repeat

Step 7: This is like step 6 but throw 2 stones in the air. Pick one from the ground and catch the first 2 falling stones, one in each hand. Repeat until you have 3 stones in one hand and 2 stones in the other. Throw the 2 stones in the air and catch one with each hand. Finish by throwing the last stone in hand and catching it with the other hand.

Step 8: Throw all the 5 stones. Let your opponent choose a stone to be thrown. Then play as like step 4.

7 Simple Ways To Help Nurture Your Child

I read something similar some time ago. Reflecting on my own experience, I thought it is very true that how we interact with our child is important. Yes, a child needs to hear us say "I love you."

Here are some of the words that we should use on our child everyday to nurture a happy and confident child.

1. What do you think? / Tell me more.
Asking your child what he or she thinks, show that you value his/ her opinion. It gives the child space to develop opinion with your guidance. It increases self-confidence and is great for bonding as it shows that you are interested in what he/ she has to say. Words like 'tell me more', show that you are keen to hear your child's opinion and thinking. It encourages conversation without sounding like you are giving advice.

2. That's alright.
When things don't turn out well, reassurance will help your child to focus on the positive aspect of things.

3. Good Job!
Celebrating small success will build confidence and increases the sense of security. It will spur your child to better achievement. It is the difference between taking on increasingly challenging tasks or giving up at the first sign of trouble.

4. Please and Thank You.
Set the example. Ask your child to do things politely and say thank you to acknowledge the effort. It says that you appreciate your child's effort and that it matters.

5. How are you today?
This is a powerful bonding tool. By showing your child that you are interested in his/ her life, it builds up healthy 2-way communication  and your child. It shows that youy are interested in what your child is doing and how he/ she feels.

6. You can do it!
Giving a vote of confidence help to develop determination in your child. Sometimes, everybody need a little push and encouragement.

7. I love it.
You can never say this often enough. Do not assume that your child knows that you love him/ her. Give hugs often. A child will really blossom when he/ she feels loved and secured.

4.

The Dead Sea Scrolls - Now Available Online

Five of the main Dead Sea scrolls are now available online as part of a joint project between the Israel Museum and Google. The Dead Sea scrolls contain some of the oldest-known surviving biblical texts.
The online digital images are ultra high-resolution images in a format which is easily searchable, with the magnified text revealing details previously invisible to the naked eye.

The  Dead Sea scrolls that have been digitised are : the Great Isaiah scroll, the Community Rule scroll, the commentary on Habbakuk, the Temple scroll and the War scroll.



Visit http://dss.collections.imj.org.il/ to view all the text of the Dead Sea scrolls. Don't worry, there is a translation tool available.

How Time Flies

I was thinking about an old friend recently.  I was trying to recall how long it has been since we last met. It has been more than 7 years I think. Time flies. Time really flies when you get older.

I think it is because most of the more vivid memories are in our prime - when we are in our twenties and thirties. So when we are in our late twenties or thirties, it doesn't seen to be so long ago. But when we hit forties and still think back of the good ole days of the twenties, it seems so long ago. That's when time seems to fly.

We are in our twenties, 5 years is an awfully long time. It is a quarter if our lives. But when we are in our forties, 5 years is but an eighth of a life spent thus far. By comparison, it seems so short.

Being more conscious of how precious time is, made me treasure the time spent with loved ones. Even when Gracie asked me to play Barbie dolls or cooking, I would oblige. In no time, she would grow up and would want more time for herself. So every minute, every hour is to be treasured.

The Wisdom Of A Child

Recently, my wife asked my 5-years old daughter, Gracie, who she likes. Is it my brother-in-law or my sister-in-law? Now, Gracie don't see them often as they live in China. So she takes a while to warm up to them whenever she visits them in China. During one of the visits, my wife asked this question. Initially, Gracie declined to answer. Quite a diplomat, she is. When pressed for an answer, Gracie, replied that she likes her cousin.

This reminded me of an old Jewish proverb - when given a choice between two paths, choose the third.

The amazing wisdom of a child