Chicken Rice War

There is a conflict brewing between lovers of Chicken Rice in Malaysia and Singapore. The Malaysian Tourist Minister is making plans to stake claim on Chicken Rice as a Malaysian food. He is also making claims on dishes like Laksa and Chilli Crab. He claimed that Malaysia's signature dishes are being 'hijacked' by other countries. Well, you be the judge. I know that emotion run high for some people. To me, it is just silly, even stupid, to suggest such things when the row over pendant dance has not cooled down. Discovery Channel inadvertently created tension between Malaysia and Indonesia by airing a segment on the Indonesian pendant dance in a show promoting Malaysia. This infuriated numerous Indonesians, some whom took to the street to protest against Malaysia's thief of Indonesian culture.

I love my Chicken Rice. Especially, the home cooked Hainanese Chicken Rice made by my mother, my maternal grandmother and paternal grandmother. I remember that my mother will painstakingly pinched out the juicy thigh meat for me. She would eat the drier breast meat that few people prefer. Just like for fishes. I love the fish meat around the cheek and dorsal area. These parts would be reserved for me when I was young. I did appreciate that my mother was sacrificing little pleasure so that I can have the best parts. Now that I am a parent, I found myself doing that. Gracie is very choosy about food. At times, she will like the crispy part of fried fish or meat. I would choose the tastier portion for her. I would eat the dry chicken breast meat which I used to detest. I guess it is part of parenting.

No Time

We borrowed a DVD from the library - "Bindi, The Jungle Girl". Gracie enjoyed watching the DVD over and over again. I can't help but reflect on the legacy that Bindi's famous father, the late Steve Irwin, left behind. Bindi obviously had a great childhood and Steve was a big part of her everyday life. I want to spend as much time as I can with Gracie. That is why my golf clubs are gathering dust in the storeroom, along with my diving gears, hiking boots, camping and wake boarding gears. I am often made aware of my lack of personal time but I guess I have no regret.

Gracie would hatch on to me once I returned from work. My wife would then heave a sign of relief and retire to do her own things. I do enjoy every moment with Gracie. Although many times, I would struggled to keep up as Gracie wakes up late in the morning and goes to bed late. Whereas I have to wake up early to go to work. So I would be very tired while Gracie is a bundle of energy all through the evening.

Even writing this blog is a challenge as Gracie would interrupt occasionally. Either for a cuddle or to ask to use the laptop to access her favourite website - Boowa and Kwala. This is a great website for kids with many activties, animations and songs.
Check it out at http://www.boowakwala.com.

I try not to turn away Gracie whenever she interrupts. Many times, work that I brought home to complete, are done after midnight. Now I understand why many of my colleagues who have children, looked so tired and run-down when they came to work. I am becoming one of the fathers who do not get enough sleep.

Dreams

I often wondered about what babies dream about when they sleep. When Gracie was younger, we would watch in amusement as she made funny expressions and kicked her legs when sleeping. Early this morning, Gracie talked in her sleep. She yelled, "I want, I want the dustbin!". Cute! I wondered what sort of dream she was in then.

I read somewhere that if you do not recall your dream in the first 2 minutes after you woke up, you will forget your dream completely. So it is not that we did not dream, but we lost them after we woke up. I cannot recall many of my dreams. There have been some where I was transported back to the places of my childhood. There was once that I dreamt of my father although I cannot remember the details now. That was some time after he died. I guess the last days of his life had left some impressions.

I can still remember when I was young I would have sad dreams about losing my mother and waking up crying. That was around the times when I came to understand death. It took me quite a few years to learn how to cope with what would be inevitable. Now, my mother is still healthy and strong at 71 years old. God bless her with a long and happy life.

I guess as parents, we all have responsibility to stay healthy. For the sake of our children. That is the main reason I gave up smoking. Likewise for my wife.

Back To China

Yesterday, my wife decided to go back to China to visit her mother. Her mother is feeling lonely and asked her to go back for a short stay. My wife was half-minded about the trip. She has doubts whether Gracie is willing to stay there for 2 months. Gracie has became more attached to me than to her.

I know I will miss Gracie badly as I had, the last thing she went to China. But I was prepared to let them go. I can understand how my mother-in-law misses my wife. It is the same thing as for Gracie with me.

In the end, my wife decided to stay to keep me company as I am going for a minor surgery on my knee. She has totally forgotten about it when she made the decision to go back to China. I was relieved. Frankly, I will miss Gracie more than I will miss my wife. My wife has gone back to China at least once a year since we got married. Each time for around 2 months. Initially, I missed her. Later I grew to enjoy the freedom more. When she is away, I became a total slop. The house will only get cleaned once a week. Dish washing often piled up for 2 days. I enjoyed the time alone, seeing TV or surfing the net with a beer in hand. When I get bored, I will seek out old friends and hit the pubs. Gracie first went to China back when she was less than a year old. I missed her badly and it did not helped that she cannot talk over the phone.

My wife and I often wondered whether Gracie will take up residency in another country when she is older. As it is, she refuses to return home every single time whenever we bring her out. Sometimes, those are her first words once leaving the house - "I dun wanna go home".
I guess with globalisation, it is unavoidable. My wife for example, would not have settled here if she or her family is reluctant to accept the separation.

Baby Talk

Gracie is no longer a baby. Somebody made that remark recently when I talk about my baby. At two and a half, she is a little woman now. That is true but she will always be my baby.
Anyway, I really enjoy listening to things that she says. It bring a smile to everybody in house everyday. My wife and my my mother will often recount to me, things that Gracie said in the day when I return from work.

Lately, Gracie has taken to role-playing us. For example, she would pretend to be angry and scold us using the same words that we used. She would stumble over the words as she still cannot string together a complete long sentence.

"See! See! I told you so many times! You just wouldn't listen!" - imitating my wife.
"If I have to repeat myself thrice, I am going to be angry!" - imitating me.
"If you continue crying, I will dump you in the dustbin!" - imitating my mother.

Sometimes we would play with her by imitating her whinning.
"I want that! I want that!" - something that she would yell in response to almost all TV commercials. When we role play as a child and whine like her, Gracie will automatically assume the parent role. She would patiently but forcefully say, "OK, OK, we will buy that tomorrow."

Sometimes, Gracie would play with her doll or teddy bear and patiently persuade it to eat more vegetable. Or she would pick the phone and start talking as if talking to Candy, my wife's friend. She would go, "Mmm,mmm, I am busy right now. Mmm, mmm, OK, Ok. Mmm, mmm, make it quick...". I would look at my wife or mother and both of us would smile.

That's how precious Gracie is to us, she really put a smile on everybody with her baby talk. I look forward to holding her everyday as I drive home from work. A smile on my face in spite of the traffic and the rude drivers.

Paying It Forward

I guess we can never pay back enough to our parent. We just have to pay it forward.

Gracie is falling sick again. It started with coughs whenever she took milk a few days ago. Last night she threw up after drinking her milk. This morning, she woke up from a dream yelling that she wants to go out. I held her in my arms to pacify her and she felt feverish. She stopped crying after a while but was still insistent on going out or to go downstair - we stay in a flat. It is a little after 7, so I thought it would be good to get some fresh air. We strolled for a while. Then Gracie said she wants to go home. Moments later, she started to cry and threw up on my shoulder. She is peacefully asleep now but we will have to bring her to see a doctor later. That's one thing she dreads the most.

When Gracie was born, she had jaundice and spent a few days in the hospital. She placed under blue light in a cold looking container. She looked so alone and helpless that our hearts were wrenched. Now I understand what my mother must have gone through when I was young and sick. I remember that I expected to be sick at least once a year. I came to accept that until I was 8 or so and I became stronger. It must be hard on my mother who needed to work to support the family. My father was a stranger all through my life. I can only remember one occasion when he brought the whole family out for supper. I have not started schooling yet. So it was when I was less than 5 years old. Other than that, I do not have any happy memory of my father. I can understand that it was very tough for my mother. It took her longer than the rest of the family to forgive him. That was some time after he was diagnosed with 4th stage lung cancer. My mother is tough. Tougher than all of us combined. Twenty years ago, she was seriously contemplating divorce. Her children are all grown up and she is finanically secure. I gave her the contact for a lawyer but she chose to stay and give grudging support to a man she totally detested. A few months before my father died, my mother forgave him and spent all her effort to make his last days comfortable. At the same time, she was taking care of her mother. My grandmother was over a hundred years old but nobody was really sure of her real age. She has been staying with my uncle all the while but my mother decided to take her in as she could not agree with the care given. So my mother was taking care of her aged mother and her dying husband at the same time. My grandmother passed away just weeks before my father. Unexpectedly. I know my mother blamed herself for not taking better care of my grandmother, preoccupied as she was, with my father. I guess it was tough for anybody and I think few people could have done better.

Now as I watch over Gracie, seeing her grow day by day, I can't help but think back to the heartache my own mother went through with me and my brothers. I can't pay back enough. I will just pay it forward for Gracie.

When I Was Young

"When I was young..". It always tickles us to hear Gracie say this. Just now, my wife dug out some of her old toys and clothing from the storeroom. Gracie immediately pounce on them. She took a tiny little pillow and placed it on her bed. Then, she took a couple of toy and settled down to mismantle them. She told my mother who was reading the newspaper nearby,"When I was young, this was my plaything!" She is all of two years and eight months. Kids do say the darnest things.

I often think back to the time when she was born. My first thought was that she is very wet with clumps of dark matter all over. The doctor handed a snip to me and asked me to cut the umbilical cord. I duly did so and the nurse whisked Gracie away. I guess I was not vey well prepared for the whole affair. I had a camera and a video recorder with me but I did not take any picture of that moment. I took a few photo later as I was getting acquainted with my new baby. You can see in the photo here, Gracie just minutes after she was born. Thinking back to when I was young, I often wished I can remember more of life.