Spare The Rod?

Lately, Gracie has been throwing tantrum. It is said that children will start testing their limits when they are two years old. They would start saying no. And we all know that children would throw tantrum to get their ways.

Gracie is especially stubborn. Both my mother and mother-in-law think so too. She would cry easily, just to get what she wants. She is already immuned to my wife's threat and scolding. My wife has a quick temper so Gracie has gotten used to it. My wife has given up as well. My wife will then blame me for not being firm. It is not that I do not discipline Gracie. I am stubborn too, I guess. Nothing affects Gracie more than being ignored by me. By now, she has learnt that I can be unyielding and I mean business when I start counting to three. If she does not listen to me, I would ignore her for the rest of the day. Actually, I would feel very bad and my day would be spoilt. Fortunately, Gracie has learnt to stop crying whenever I start the countdown. Initially, there were twice when she wouldn't back down even when it was time for bed. My wife chided me the next day when I continued the silent treatment. It was difficult. Gracie would stand right next to me and told my wife that I was angry with, that she had been naughty. I really do not want her to go to sleep with unhappy memories. I think I did right as Gracie has learnt to obey when I get serious. I worry about my wife though. There were a few times when she lost control and gave Gracie a hard pat on her leg or bum. I can see that there will be more serious conflict between the two.

My wife related this to me the other day. One of her friend caned her children. Apparently, she was so mad with them that she shouted that she cannot tolerate it anymore and then caned them. When she quietened down, her son sobbingly told her, "Next time, do not control your anger. Hit me whenever you are angry. Do not wait till you can't take it anymore. It is too frightening!" She had accidentally left a scar on her son's face with her cane.

I remember when I was caned by my mother. I was probably less than 10 years old. I do not remember that I did anything particularly bad. I think my mother broke down because of a quarrel with my father. I remembered because she was crying after she hit me. And I felt her pain more than my own,