Would You Tweet When Your Child Is Dying?

Would you tweet when your child is dying. This was all over the international news - a woman tweeted while emergency workers tried to revive her 2-years old child who was found at the bottom of a swimming pool. I reflected on this. I would not judge her harshly. What do you think? This is lifted off http://www.usatoday.com/

At 5:22 p.m., Shellie Ross ,an avid blogger and tweeter, posted a message about the fog that rolled in as she worked in her chicken coop. At 5:23 p.m., her 11-year-old son, Kris made an emergency call to police, according to Joe Martin, Brevard County homicide investigator. Ross and her son had found Bryson at the bottom of the pool. While Kris was calling for help on the phone, Ross performed CPR procedure on Bryson, said Martin.

Bryson was taken to Cape Canaveral Hospital where he was pronounced dead at 6 p.m. At 6:12 p.m. as Shellie Ross waited in a hospital for the word on her son, she posted this note on Twitter: "Please pray like never before, my 2 yr old fell in the pool."

Ross was later notified at 6:31 p.m. about her son's death.

"Her tweeting had nothing to do with what happened with regard to her son. It was an accident," Martin said. No charges will be filed.

When I first read the report, it was distorted, as was many reports on the net. I was led to believe that Ross tweeted on the side when emergency workers were performing CPR or something like that. In the light on the report from USAtoday, she was merely asking her usual support group for help. No different from making a call to a close family friend in times of need.

Quarrels

Raine has a short fuse. She just had another of those sudden squalls. She would blow her fuse over small matter. When I refused to be dragged into a quarrel, she would simmer within and just erupt suddenly. It just happened an hour ago. Looking back with some mirth, I guessed I had learnt something. In the past, I would totally ignore her, which would infuriate her more. Just now, I decided that I should apologise and so I did. It caught her by surprise and she sulkingly said everything is fine.

It started innocently. She was feeding Gracie. Something which she has no patience for. I offered to take over but Gracie insisted otherwise. So Raine was stuck with the task. Feeding Gracie normally take an hour. Only my mother is happy doing so - most of the time. Even my mother get exasperated sometimes. Anyway, Raine was getting irritated because Gracie was taking her own sweet time chewing. Raine raised her voice several times. Gracie then asked for water and she did so in a loud voice. I immediately admonished her in a soft tone. Raine made a sarcastic remark about the way I spoke softly. I was annoyed that she did so in front of Gracie. I retorted that Gracie learnt to be rude and loud from her. That hit a tender spot! Raine then shouted at me, saying that I am setting a bad example by saying such things in front of Gracie. Talk about irony. I grew angry and just clammed up. When I refused to engage in verbal combat, Raine's rage would grow and spin out of control. This time is no different. After 10 minutes, when Gracie was slow in taking another spoonful, Raine threw down the bowl with a bang and strode off into the bedroom, slamming the door loudly after her.

I was furious because I can see that Gracie was visibly affected. My mother heard the door slammed and she came into the living room to see what was wrong. She is wise and she kept quiet instead of asking what's wrong. I went on to feed Gracie. Gracie was tired as she did not nap in the afternoon. As usual, Raine did not try hard enough to get Gracie to sleep. That is another thing that gnaws at me.

Gracie fall asleep almost as soon as she finished eating. She asked for her mother because she knew something was not right. She did not protest as she normally would, when I told her that mommy is having a bath. Gracie then asked to be carried and she fall asleep in my arms within minutes.

I carried Gracie to the bedroom. Raine hurried to get the bed ready. She did not give the cold treatment to both of us as I had expected, so I relented as well. After putting Gracie to bed, I touched Raine and apologised. She refused to look at me but she replied that she was fine. Many times in the past when we had such quarrel, I would simply ignore her and go for a walk. Raine simply could not accept that. She needs to blow off her anger by yelling and arguing. Over the years, we have both learnt to be more accommodating. I know she has accepted that I do not like confrontation and I learn to just stand still in the firing zone for a while. Many times in the past, our quarrels lasted for 1 - 2 days. And they are normally over trivial matters. I guess that is part of marriage - to be continually tested.

Carrying A Baby

When Raine was pregnant, a senior colleague, Prakesh, gave me this advice. He said carry and hug your child as much as you like. Do not heed the advice of some old folks who think that carrying a baby too often would lead to undesirable behaviour from the baby. This seems to be a common thinking among the Chinese and Indian. Prakesh who is a grandfather lamented otherwise. He advised that children will grow up fast and before you know it, they will be running away from you. He regret not carrying and holding his grandchild often enough. Now the child desist being carried.

When I was younger I have heard this from my grandmother. Do not spoil a baby by carrying him or her whenever the baby cries. With Gracie, I did not really think about this issue. I just did what is natural. I would hold her and protect her. Now Raine constantly complained that I had spoiled her. Gracie would want to be carried whenever we go out, shopping or for a meal. Raine is annoyed because she is suffering from "slipped disc" and could not carry Gracie.

Gracie get plenty of exercise running and playing, of course. In fact, she loves to climb stairs. I would sometimes allow her to climb the stairs instead of taking the lift to our apartment. 9 flights of stairs.

I must admit that Gracie is somewhat spoiled in that way but it delights my mother to no end. My mother who must be among the most patient person anywhere, would drop whatever she is doing and carrying her precious granddaughter whenever Gracie went to her and asked to be carried. Sometimes out of the blue, Gracie would say, "it has been a long while since I was carried." It would bring a big smile to my mother's face as she hug and carry Gracie. "Bao. Bao"- that's Mandarin for hug, hold or carry. And Gracie's command to be carried.

Now I understand Prakesh's advice. Some day, Gracie would be too big to be carried. She would be too busy exploring the world as well. I hope she will always find time for "Bao.Bao."

The Little Rascal

My mother related this over dinner. She called Gracie a little rascal and spoke about how Gracie insisted on changing her spectacles. My mother has a pair of reading spectacles in addition to a pair that she would wear when out of the house. That is to rectify slight shortsightedness. Some time Gracie ago had noticed that my mother would wear spectacles occasionally. Gracie has this funny thing for maintaining things as they were. So she started insisting that my mother put on her spectacles when at home. Gracie also discerned that there are two different pairs of spectacles. My mother had told her that one is for reading and the other is for looking at the bus or train. Gracie corrected her saying, one is reading newspaper (because that is all that my mother read around the house) and the other is for looking at Gracie. That brought much mirth to the family.
So that day, as my mother was telling me, Gracie interrupted her reading, patiently folded up the newspaper and spoke my mother to change her spectacles. She said, "No, no, no. This is for reading newspaper. Go wear the pair that is for looking at Gracie!"
It is a good thing that Gracie has endeared herself to my mother. After my father passed away, my mother was staying alone by herself. She refused to move in with me or any of my brothers. At 70 years old, she still want to continue working as a cleaner at a school. My mother only stayed with us when my wife suffered severe back pain which was later diagnosed as "slipped disc". My mother stays with us during the weekdays to take care of Gracie while my wife recovers. Initially, she took a month's no-pay leave. Later, she quited when her supervisor objected to the leave. I can tell that she missed going to work and hanging out with her friends. Thankfully, Gracie more than make up for what she lost. It took a while before Gracie warmed up to her. Previously, Gracie would cling to me or my wife and would not allow anybody else to carry her. Nowadays, Gracie would walk up to my mother whenever my mother is preoccupied with some thing, reading or washing up, and clapped her hands. That is her signal for wanting to be carried and hugged. When my mother said she is busy, Gracie would replied that it has been a long time since she was last hugged. That totally demolished any objections and brought a smile to my mother's face. "Little rascal!", she would happily say.

Swimming

We had brought Gracie for a swim several times. She was terrified of going up to her waist in water. So she would just play at the edge of the children swimming pool. Actually, she rather not go to the swimming pool at all. This gradually changed until two days ago, she started enjoying splashing about in the water. Even after she slipped and swallowed a gulp of water, she still enjoyed the outing. This acceptance took quite a while. On hindsight, it was important not to rush a child with things that she fear. What we did, was to combine her favourite activity with playing in the swimming pool. Her favourite past time is playing with sand. She is happiest with an outing to the beach. Some thing which we try to make a monthly affair. However, the sea side is not the best place to allay her fear of water. Gracie cried the first time at the sea side because of the loud noise of the waves. It took a while before she allowed us to carry her to the water edge.

One of my uncle's condominium has a sand pit near the swimming pool. The first time that Gracie went there, she thoroughly enjoyed herself. She started off playing with buckets of sand and then venture to splash about in the children swimming pool. We brought her to my uncle's place twice after that. Each time, Gracie grew bolder. Last weekend, we brought her to the nearby public swimming pool. That's when she finally overcame her fear of water. She is still cautious but now she doesn't mind going in the pool for a dip. Now she can't wait for the next trip to the swimming pool.

Spare The Rod?

Lately, Gracie has been throwing tantrum. It is said that children will start testing their limits when they are two years old. They would start saying no. And we all know that children would throw tantrum to get their ways.

Gracie is especially stubborn. Both my mother and mother-in-law think so too. She would cry easily, just to get what she wants. She is already immuned to my wife's threat and scolding. My wife has a quick temper so Gracie has gotten used to it. My wife has given up as well. My wife will then blame me for not being firm. It is not that I do not discipline Gracie. I am stubborn too, I guess. Nothing affects Gracie more than being ignored by me. By now, she has learnt that I can be unyielding and I mean business when I start counting to three. If she does not listen to me, I would ignore her for the rest of the day. Actually, I would feel very bad and my day would be spoilt. Fortunately, Gracie has learnt to stop crying whenever I start the countdown. Initially, there were twice when she wouldn't back down even when it was time for bed. My wife chided me the next day when I continued the silent treatment. It was difficult. Gracie would stand right next to me and told my wife that I was angry with, that she had been naughty. I really do not want her to go to sleep with unhappy memories. I think I did right as Gracie has learnt to obey when I get serious. I worry about my wife though. There were a few times when she lost control and gave Gracie a hard pat on her leg or bum. I can see that there will be more serious conflict between the two.

My wife related this to me the other day. One of her friend caned her children. Apparently, she was so mad with them that she shouted that she cannot tolerate it anymore and then caned them. When she quietened down, her son sobbingly told her, "Next time, do not control your anger. Hit me whenever you are angry. Do not wait till you can't take it anymore. It is too frightening!" She had accidentally left a scar on her son's face with her cane.

I remember when I was caned by my mother. I was probably less than 10 years old. I do not remember that I did anything particularly bad. I think my mother broke down because of a quarrel with my father. I remembered because she was crying after she hit me. And I felt her pain more than my own,

A Time To Be Silent

My wife and I had a little tiff the other day. We were talking about something and our voices got louder. Gracie quickly stepped in to defuse the situation. She said,"hao le, hao le, bu yao jiang le!" - "OK, OK, don't talk anymore!". And gave both of us a grin.

She is still more than 2 months shy of her third birthday. Already, she learnt how to step between us to calm things down. We were not really quarrelling. As usual, my wife refused to admit that she has slipped up. Normally, I will just ignore it. That time, she irked me by talking about the matter for the third time. We had returned from grocery shopping. My wife bought 2 packs of diaper. Each pack is supposed to come with a free kiddy tee-shirt. When putting things away, I noticed that one pack is the normal one without the tee-shirt. When I told my wife, she immediately started to accuse (1.) me, as usual, of losing it, (2.) the bad-hearted people in general, for stealing it (3.) the cashier for swopping the pack etc etc.

I was annoyed the first time. Irritated the second time. When she brought it again for the third time after half an hour, I told her straight in the face that she has taken the wrong pack. A big mistake. So our voices got louder and louder till Gracie stepped in. That was 2 days ago. Just today, my wife told that I always refuse to admit when I am wrong. I chortled and kept quiet.

Chicken Rice War

There is a conflict brewing between lovers of Chicken Rice in Malaysia and Singapore. The Malaysian Tourist Minister is making plans to stake claim on Chicken Rice as a Malaysian food. He is also making claims on dishes like Laksa and Chilli Crab. He claimed that Malaysia's signature dishes are being 'hijacked' by other countries. Well, you be the judge. I know that emotion run high for some people. To me, it is just silly, even stupid, to suggest such things when the row over pendant dance has not cooled down. Discovery Channel inadvertently created tension between Malaysia and Indonesia by airing a segment on the Indonesian pendant dance in a show promoting Malaysia. This infuriated numerous Indonesians, some whom took to the street to protest against Malaysia's thief of Indonesian culture.

I love my Chicken Rice. Especially, the home cooked Hainanese Chicken Rice made by my mother, my maternal grandmother and paternal grandmother. I remember that my mother will painstakingly pinched out the juicy thigh meat for me. She would eat the drier breast meat that few people prefer. Just like for fishes. I love the fish meat around the cheek and dorsal area. These parts would be reserved for me when I was young. I did appreciate that my mother was sacrificing little pleasure so that I can have the best parts. Now that I am a parent, I found myself doing that. Gracie is very choosy about food. At times, she will like the crispy part of fried fish or meat. I would choose the tastier portion for her. I would eat the dry chicken breast meat which I used to detest. I guess it is part of parenting.

No Time

We borrowed a DVD from the library - "Bindi, The Jungle Girl". Gracie enjoyed watching the DVD over and over again. I can't help but reflect on the legacy that Bindi's famous father, the late Steve Irwin, left behind. Bindi obviously had a great childhood and Steve was a big part of her everyday life. I want to spend as much time as I can with Gracie. That is why my golf clubs are gathering dust in the storeroom, along with my diving gears, hiking boots, camping and wake boarding gears. I am often made aware of my lack of personal time but I guess I have no regret.

Gracie would hatch on to me once I returned from work. My wife would then heave a sign of relief and retire to do her own things. I do enjoy every moment with Gracie. Although many times, I would struggled to keep up as Gracie wakes up late in the morning and goes to bed late. Whereas I have to wake up early to go to work. So I would be very tired while Gracie is a bundle of energy all through the evening.

Even writing this blog is a challenge as Gracie would interrupt occasionally. Either for a cuddle or to ask to use the laptop to access her favourite website - Boowa and Kwala. This is a great website for kids with many activties, animations and songs.
Check it out at http://www.boowakwala.com.

I try not to turn away Gracie whenever she interrupts. Many times, work that I brought home to complete, are done after midnight. Now I understand why many of my colleagues who have children, looked so tired and run-down when they came to work. I am becoming one of the fathers who do not get enough sleep.

Dreams

I often wondered about what babies dream about when they sleep. When Gracie was younger, we would watch in amusement as she made funny expressions and kicked her legs when sleeping. Early this morning, Gracie talked in her sleep. She yelled, "I want, I want the dustbin!". Cute! I wondered what sort of dream she was in then.

I read somewhere that if you do not recall your dream in the first 2 minutes after you woke up, you will forget your dream completely. So it is not that we did not dream, but we lost them after we woke up. I cannot recall many of my dreams. There have been some where I was transported back to the places of my childhood. There was once that I dreamt of my father although I cannot remember the details now. That was some time after he died. I guess the last days of his life had left some impressions.

I can still remember when I was young I would have sad dreams about losing my mother and waking up crying. That was around the times when I came to understand death. It took me quite a few years to learn how to cope with what would be inevitable. Now, my mother is still healthy and strong at 71 years old. God bless her with a long and happy life.

I guess as parents, we all have responsibility to stay healthy. For the sake of our children. That is the main reason I gave up smoking. Likewise for my wife.

Back To China

Yesterday, my wife decided to go back to China to visit her mother. Her mother is feeling lonely and asked her to go back for a short stay. My wife was half-minded about the trip. She has doubts whether Gracie is willing to stay there for 2 months. Gracie has became more attached to me than to her.

I know I will miss Gracie badly as I had, the last thing she went to China. But I was prepared to let them go. I can understand how my mother-in-law misses my wife. It is the same thing as for Gracie with me.

In the end, my wife decided to stay to keep me company as I am going for a minor surgery on my knee. She has totally forgotten about it when she made the decision to go back to China. I was relieved. Frankly, I will miss Gracie more than I will miss my wife. My wife has gone back to China at least once a year since we got married. Each time for around 2 months. Initially, I missed her. Later I grew to enjoy the freedom more. When she is away, I became a total slop. The house will only get cleaned once a week. Dish washing often piled up for 2 days. I enjoyed the time alone, seeing TV or surfing the net with a beer in hand. When I get bored, I will seek out old friends and hit the pubs. Gracie first went to China back when she was less than a year old. I missed her badly and it did not helped that she cannot talk over the phone.

My wife and I often wondered whether Gracie will take up residency in another country when she is older. As it is, she refuses to return home every single time whenever we bring her out. Sometimes, those are her first words once leaving the house - "I dun wanna go home".
I guess with globalisation, it is unavoidable. My wife for example, would not have settled here if she or her family is reluctant to accept the separation.

Baby Talk

Gracie is no longer a baby. Somebody made that remark recently when I talk about my baby. At two and a half, she is a little woman now. That is true but she will always be my baby.
Anyway, I really enjoy listening to things that she says. It bring a smile to everybody in house everyday. My wife and my my mother will often recount to me, things that Gracie said in the day when I return from work.

Lately, Gracie has taken to role-playing us. For example, she would pretend to be angry and scold us using the same words that we used. She would stumble over the words as she still cannot string together a complete long sentence.

"See! See! I told you so many times! You just wouldn't listen!" - imitating my wife.
"If I have to repeat myself thrice, I am going to be angry!" - imitating me.
"If you continue crying, I will dump you in the dustbin!" - imitating my mother.

Sometimes we would play with her by imitating her whinning.
"I want that! I want that!" - something that she would yell in response to almost all TV commercials. When we role play as a child and whine like her, Gracie will automatically assume the parent role. She would patiently but forcefully say, "OK, OK, we will buy that tomorrow."

Sometimes, Gracie would play with her doll or teddy bear and patiently persuade it to eat more vegetable. Or she would pick the phone and start talking as if talking to Candy, my wife's friend. She would go, "Mmm,mmm, I am busy right now. Mmm, mmm, OK, Ok. Mmm, mmm, make it quick...". I would look at my wife or mother and both of us would smile.

That's how precious Gracie is to us, she really put a smile on everybody with her baby talk. I look forward to holding her everyday as I drive home from work. A smile on my face in spite of the traffic and the rude drivers.

Paying It Forward

I guess we can never pay back enough to our parent. We just have to pay it forward.

Gracie is falling sick again. It started with coughs whenever she took milk a few days ago. Last night she threw up after drinking her milk. This morning, she woke up from a dream yelling that she wants to go out. I held her in my arms to pacify her and she felt feverish. She stopped crying after a while but was still insistent on going out or to go downstair - we stay in a flat. It is a little after 7, so I thought it would be good to get some fresh air. We strolled for a while. Then Gracie said she wants to go home. Moments later, she started to cry and threw up on my shoulder. She is peacefully asleep now but we will have to bring her to see a doctor later. That's one thing she dreads the most.

When Gracie was born, she had jaundice and spent a few days in the hospital. She placed under blue light in a cold looking container. She looked so alone and helpless that our hearts were wrenched. Now I understand what my mother must have gone through when I was young and sick. I remember that I expected to be sick at least once a year. I came to accept that until I was 8 or so and I became stronger. It must be hard on my mother who needed to work to support the family. My father was a stranger all through my life. I can only remember one occasion when he brought the whole family out for supper. I have not started schooling yet. So it was when I was less than 5 years old. Other than that, I do not have any happy memory of my father. I can understand that it was very tough for my mother. It took her longer than the rest of the family to forgive him. That was some time after he was diagnosed with 4th stage lung cancer. My mother is tough. Tougher than all of us combined. Twenty years ago, she was seriously contemplating divorce. Her children are all grown up and she is finanically secure. I gave her the contact for a lawyer but she chose to stay and give grudging support to a man she totally detested. A few months before my father died, my mother forgave him and spent all her effort to make his last days comfortable. At the same time, she was taking care of her mother. My grandmother was over a hundred years old but nobody was really sure of her real age. She has been staying with my uncle all the while but my mother decided to take her in as she could not agree with the care given. So my mother was taking care of her aged mother and her dying husband at the same time. My grandmother passed away just weeks before my father. Unexpectedly. I know my mother blamed herself for not taking better care of my grandmother, preoccupied as she was, with my father. I guess it was tough for anybody and I think few people could have done better.

Now as I watch over Gracie, seeing her grow day by day, I can't help but think back to the heartache my own mother went through with me and my brothers. I can't pay back enough. I will just pay it forward for Gracie.

When I Was Young

"When I was young..". It always tickles us to hear Gracie say this. Just now, my wife dug out some of her old toys and clothing from the storeroom. Gracie immediately pounce on them. She took a tiny little pillow and placed it on her bed. Then, she took a couple of toy and settled down to mismantle them. She told my mother who was reading the newspaper nearby,"When I was young, this was my plaything!" She is all of two years and eight months. Kids do say the darnest things.

I often think back to the time when she was born. My first thought was that she is very wet with clumps of dark matter all over. The doctor handed a snip to me and asked me to cut the umbilical cord. I duly did so and the nurse whisked Gracie away. I guess I was not vey well prepared for the whole affair. I had a camera and a video recorder with me but I did not take any picture of that moment. I took a few photo later as I was getting acquainted with my new baby. You can see in the photo here, Gracie just minutes after she was born. Thinking back to when I was young, I often wished I can remember more of life.

God's Eye View

You have heard of the phase "God's eye view". Here is my thought on seeing through God's eye view. I guess God's eye view is multi-dimensional. It also has the dimension of time. If you can see through God's eye view, you can also transcend time. You can see a person at his or her best. You can see a time when he or she is most loved by somebody and everybody. You can see a time when he or she is so helplessly cute as a baby. Or you can see a time when your heart will weep for this person.

How then, can you hate this person? Or anybody? Everybody will have up and down times. If you can see a person when he or she is so downtrodden as to be pitiful, you will find it to be angry with him or her.

I have never thought of this until Gracie is born. Through her, I can see my past and the future. My past as a child and my future through the memories of my parents in my childhood, and how my baby will see me when I am older.

It has made me more tolerant of other people. Not as virtuous as God but more understanding when I can remind myself that everybody was once a cute baby - like my Gracie. That is God's eye view to me.

Potty Training - A Long Long Story

We had a hard time with potty training. Gracie refuse to use a potty. From the time that she can walk, she does her business standing up. She has developed a funny hand clapping ritual too. When she is ready to start, she will wave her palms to warn us away. Nobody is allowed near her at all. Or even to look at her. She will scream her protests. Her favourite position is at the foot of our bed. She would go through this pattern of patting the bed with both hands, then clapping her hands. After that, she would clasp her hands together and strain for a while before repeating the whole pattern. Initially, we were very concerned as she is a very picky eater, refusing vegetable and diet supplements. So constipation is common. A few times, we had to bring her to the hospital as she had struggled to pass motion for a few hours. It tored at my heart to see her screaming as the nurse inserts a suppository. My wife has the uneviable task of inserting the suppository at home a few times. Gracie is now terrified of all doctors and nurses, also partly due to the vacination injections she had received. She is also wary of being near my wife when she pass motion. So the task of cleaning up often falls on me. For a 10 kg child, she is very strong when she is terrified. It is a very dramatic affair. She would be sobbing and screaming the whole time. Not easy to clean up the poop when she is all tense up and refuses to bend over. Another of my tasks is to comfort her after that, as she will not let anybody else hold her. So I would hold her in a hug and walked around till she fell asleep.

My wife and I often spoke about filming the whole affair to show Gracie after she grows up. We thought we will have a good laugh about it. We never did film the whole episode, it is just too painful to watch her suffer through it. Prune juice seems to be the best remedy so far. So it is a daily affair to try to get her to drink some. Things are better now. I guess we will have a laugh about this when she grows older. For now, we are still trying to do potty training!

The Beach - A Favourite Place

That's Gracie with my wife at the beach at the East Coast Park. Her favorite place. Actually, any place with sand is her favorite place. This was taken in Feb 2008 when she is one year and two months old. Around the time that she learnt that sand is not for eating.

We were out at the beach on Sentosa Island. When we were not looking, Gracie shove a handful of sand into her mouth. Luckily, there is washing point nearby and we rushed to rinse her mouth. Gracie was quite crossed with being manhandled like that.

When she is playing with sand, she is in a world of her own. She is mesmerised by repeated action of scooping and pouring sand away. The beach is also a great place for Raine and I to unwind. The East Coast Park is around 19 kilometres long. It is easy to find a spot with fewer people. I can just lose myself glazing at the sea and the sky. One can see airliners queuing up to land at the Changi Airport. Two minutes apart. On the seas, in the distance anchorage, scores of ship covered the horizon. Almost obscuring Batam, one of the thousands islands of Indonesia. It is both bustling and serene.

Raine is still settling down after five years in Singapore. I know she misses her friends in China. So far, Gracie has been to China twice. Each time was a great adventure. The last trip in 2008 was not so pleasant as my wife was taken ill and hospitalised for two weeks. I rushed over to keep her company. I could not spend much time with Gracie during the day. That was the first time that Gracie was apart from either of us for more than a few hours. She has adjusted by the time I went over. It was the Olympic Games period and China has tightened security. Normally, with a Singapore passport, I can visit China for up to 14 days without visa. During the Olympic games, it was an anxious three days process. By the time, I reached Wuhan, China, Gracie has stopped crying for her mother. I was so relieved to see her but she cried when she saw me. We met at the hospital. Gracie refused to let me carry her initially. We have been apart for two weeks then. It took her half an hour to loosen up and then when she let me carry her, she held on so tightly that my heart was wrenched.

The hospital was a cultural shock. I have been to China a few times but I really did not expect the hospital to be like this. Well, that is another story for another time. To talk about dungeon and the great industralised city of Wuhan.

I Dun Wanna Go Home

"Wo Bu Yao Hui Jia" - I do not want to go home.
That's Gracie's pet phrase. She loves to go on a trip. To the mall, to the library, to the beach, anywhere. And when it is time to return home, she will be wailing that she don't want to go home. Sometimes, that's the first thing she says upon leaving the house. All our neighbours are familiar with her tantrums at the playground by now. My wife suffers from backache - just confirmed as slipped disc. So she could not forcibly carry Gracie home from the playground. She will often summon me to do so. Initially, it is easy to distract Gracie by talking about other things, perhaps relating to her recent experience with things and people, and through that, get her to go home peacefully. A few times, I lost my temper, resorting to threats and angry tone. And found that Gracie is very stubborn indeed. Threats just do not work. Now, it is an exercise in tact and tactic. No wonder, people says that good parenting is good leadership.

Yes, she has grown. She is two years and seven months old now. I cannot remember when she starts talking but the first word she uttered was "kai" - to open. Referring to snack packs. She loves snacks especially peanuts and potato chips. I like potato chips too but I had to give it up as I do not want she to eat too much snacks. As it is, she has problem with bowel movement. I had to send her to the child hospital thrice already. She simply refuses veg and water. It is only lately she learned the association between not drinking water, not eating vegetables and the painful episodes of constipation. That is another story. A long long story indeed.